Updated: Dec 11, 2019
Dear Master Choy,
Let me begin to thank you for making time and space for me, Monique and Tim to make this incredible personal retreat happen. Incredible it was for sure.
I didn't really know what to expect and as I shared at the beginning I was scared and excited at the same time, but felt deep down inside that I really needed to do this to change myself, especially my behaviours and stickiness to the life I have lived. I can not say Thank You enough Master Choy for this unique, helpful, meaningful and powerful days and nights. The way you have been building up these days is incredible good and really indescribable how you do this. Diving in on the right time and moment. Very detailed, focussed on a specific subject like cause/effect and sometimes confrontational or emotional but all so clear and true. You are really amazing and also number one standup comedian. What a big laughs we have had.
I also want to say thanks to Christine who has feed me with delightful breakfasts, lunches and dinners. All in balance, energizing and very tasteful and made with lots of love. I am also very grateful that Monique and Tim joined and supported me. They were full of love and understanding and also learned new lessons and insights.
I had no idea what to expect from this retreat, but I did not expect the unity of the group. It felt as if we were all one! It was very inspiring and useful to hear that others have had the same issues, like loneliness, fears, 'fights' with their inner child, parents, animal and not letting go of old habits or friends. Also good to hear and read that all of them learned from this retreat. It was so pure and felt really secure to share all the problems and discuss them so open. This was really great. I felt so much love and forgiveness.
The lessons I have learned were so good and useful. I already noticed more awareness in me although I know I have a long way to go. This afternoon I found a 'nice' solution for a problem that Yoann has with his mother. The idea was good for selling this to his mother, but it was not really true... I immediately recognised what I was doing and said that this was nog a good idea since it was not the truth. (although it seems that this would not hurt anybody). This is just the beginning of a new era of Harold. As you always thought me from the beginning: Step by step, consistency and be persistent. So I will have to do this. Beside this, I have the insights now to be and stay by myself and not to run away when I am scared or lonely. I will embrace these feelings and also learned to react immediate or instantly. To be more and stay grounded I will practice Tai Chi on a daily base. It is good that Monique and I can do this together.
The lessons that I found the most valuable for me at this moment are:the "cause/effect" lesson, forgiveness of yourself by saying this to yourself, the thanking process, choosing for and loving your (inner)selves (especially the lonely child), insights in friends and letting go, how to be with fear, slowing down (blindfull for more than 24h), how do you choose to be and last but not least: your health and the precious time that we all have in this life. Of course there were other, but I feel that I have to work on this lessons first, beside the practises. The healing sessions were amazing and so energizing. All three totally different and especially the first one was beside being energized also very relieving. The black image what I saw and also Helen made me first frightened, but disappeared during the healing and light images came in place. The second and the third were more peaceful. I want to thank Helen and the core group for doing this great healings.
In the dome I slept very well and did not have any dreams. Really good energy and I loved the sound of the river. The last three nights I woke up at 05.00/05.30 and just listened to the river or prepared the standup or reading my notes.
The river is really a special and inspiring place for me and the blindfull journey ended very exciting and almost took off my blindfold during the ride in the boat. I enjoyed this and I overtook a lot of fear in me. It gave me a trustful feeling to let go of the fear and to trust your gut feeling. This despite Monique was in panic, Tim and Yoann were somewhere else and I was suddenly alone. I loved this and being blindfull 24h gave me a lot of rest and peace.
Yesterday I saw the giant deer and this was a real sign for me. I search on the internet what this sign good mean and this came up:"The deer is another symbol of Chinese good luck. ... Often the deer is featured in artwork to symbolize luck, success, longevity and prosperity. The animal is also supposed to represent the hope for an overall long and healthy life." or another:"The deer totem is a symbol of peace and serenity. ... The deer symbolism emphasizes gentleness and meekness, that even in the toughest and most challenging times of your life, you can still be gentle and kind. You can find your resolutions and achieve your goals with grace and gentleness. And means a start for new things How amazing are these explanations? This can not be a coincidence.
I forgot to share with you and the group this morning, when I was listening to the river, that I had a vision of making a visualization/painting of this retreat. This on the same way as we have made on the back of the house with the inner families. I really want to make this and need some guidance for how to use the colors and other things that I should know to achieve this.
I am really grateful and do my very best to practice, apply the tools and lessons I have learned. To be loving for myself, Monique and my family. Thank you so much Master Choy and wishing you and Christine all the best and will see you in february.
Loving and smiling chi.
Words of gratitude from Tim
Thank you so so much Master Choy for this unforgettable retreat. I feel absolutely transformed. I truly want to thank you with my whole HBMS for your generosity in letting me and Monique attend the retreat for free, I will never forget this. Also thank you so much Chrstine for putting so much loving care in everything you did for especially of course Harold, but also little things like tuning in, or helping me to heal my foot when it was cut by the rocks. I almost can’t start to express in words how I feel. First of all the amount of love I felt during the retreat. I feel that my heart truly opened up and I can even experience it now while being back in Holland and in regards to my relationship with Sabine. It feels as if I fell in love again. Not only with Sabine, but with life itself, love, with the Chi, the sun and mother earth. Thank you so much and the group for helping me to open up again. The retreat is truly a milestone it feels for me and so many couples, families can benefit from such a powerful intense week. It feels almost like a mini FTT in 5 days. So many people are having similar issues like Harold and Monique, but nobody really talks about it. Everything is happening in the shades or when it comes out it’s often too late. I learnt so many lessons from what happened to Harold and Monique, especially as I see the direct mirrors inside me.I’m really a mix of both, with both the positive as the negative selves.
Thank you for the incredible wise lessons and insights you gave us all, often accompanied by so much humor. Again and again I’m amazed how you can turn things upside down and find lightness in heavy situations. The lesson of the Yin Yang Tao of forgiveness was very powerful for me and I learnt a whole new level of it. I always presumed that the inner self was apologizing, but it makes so much more sense that the higher self is apologising for having created the situation for the inner self that experienced the situation. It suddenly became so clear for me, as sometimes the inner self that made the mistake felt unworthy or even rebellious to apologize, whereas when it comes from the highest, the inner self feels listened to, and bathed in compassion. When I applied it during the exercise I felt so much forgiveness coming through. There was a sense of giving and receiving with forgiveness. The separation was gone between the inner self and the ‘I’. Everything melted into peace. Thank you so much for this new insight Master Choy. What also really struck me was to love the Earth as the true woman in your life. As she and only she can meet all expectations, whereas with Human beings, this is not possible and disappointment and suffering will always bound to happen, when expectations come into play. She’s was, is and always will be there. Her love is limitless and unconditional. I consciously brought this awareness into my practice at the center this week and it completely changed my practice. I felt much more love and more connection to nature compared to home. Also for a man to look at the sun as a role model, was a good reminder for me! I feel so grateful for Harold having the courage to dive in. He really looked like a different person leaving the retreat. Coming in as a little lamb ready for the slaughterhouse and leaving like a confident male goat, ready to strengthen his new believes. I do also really feel he can inspire his friends or find the courage to eventually cut out poisoning influences in his life. Everything during the retreat helped him.The blindfold, the hilarious rubber boat experience, the loving support from the group, even the text from the lady from the plane, that stirred things up. It was a beautiful jigsaw puzzle, a canvas that slowly revealed its art piece. Absolutely mind boggling. I learnt how much transparency is needed, but first after internal composting is done, otherwise shit keeps flying around and no responsibility is taken. I will keep doing my best to apply this lesson is my life. To transparently share with wisdom from a composted place inside accompanied with love and lightness. It feels like a new chapter in our family is starting and a lot of old ones have folded or are folding over. I also feel really inspired to get as many people as possible to the workshop in February. I can already feel it’s going to be life changing. Thank you for everything Master Choy, With humble smiling chi, Tim